Maria Sene has recently completed her 300-hour Colonastics™ instructor training. Whiteness runs in her family, but having trained at one of the whitest institutions in Scotland, Maria was able to observe and experience whiteness even more closely. Her previous training included white modern dance, Jazzercise, Ballet, Weightlifting, German Tanz Theater, and Stanislavsky acting techniques embedded in a vocal release technique of sighing. Maria is also known for popularizing the Sauerkraut challenge throughout Germany, making it a staple in the white cosmic wellness movement. Her expertise in white embodiment, such as white panic, white fragility, white fear, and whitewashing, complements the Colonastics™ team. Since watching her first boyfriend play guitar in a rock band, Maria has become an expert in playing air guitar and teaching Rock-Out, Punkletics, and Metal Muscle Health. Maria’s white teaching style is praised for being dangerously confusing and eye-opening. Her favorite move, the headbanger, is guaranteed to knock you out! By joining Maria’s class, you can be sure she will take whiteness to the next level! Maria enjoys quoting herself: “Blander, Stiffer, Ruder, Stronger!” (Maria Sene).
Elisabeth Hampe is a certified Colonastics™ instructor since 2017. Growing up in an all-white family she started working out with Turnen, Walzer, Foxtrott and ballet as a child and teen. Elisabeth has profound wisdom and knowledge in all things white as she naturally embodies whiteness. Her path has also gifted her with experiences in Lyrical Modern Dance, Berghain Bouncing and Truth Bending. Elisabeth was able to deepen her practice by studying at an ultimately white theatre institute in Mittelhessen, reading mainly white authors and partaking in various white male-dominated student parties. As part of a holistic research retreat in the former BRD capital Bonn she became one of the founding members of Colonastics™. Since then, Elisabeth has devoted all her energy and time to help people to discover and embrace their inner whiteness. Her mystically patronizing and denyingly dogmatic teaching style come from a remarkably authentic place. In her excruciatingly calming mind vs. body classes, she will tell you to be your own Universe and ask all from yourself. In Colonastics™ and in life her favorite moves are the Wall of Death and the Disco Fox. The mantra Elisabeth lives by and hopes to pass on to her students reads “Respect the Rules and Pray!” (DJ Bobo). Inspired by her heritage her future goal is to become the next Spreewaldgurkenkönig.
Julia-Friederike Tischkau started her physical journey in the context of white German Sportvereins. Together with her twin brother, she trained in judo, gaining the yellow belt under the strict regimen of beer-bellied judoka Willi. She also gained experience in other recreational white spaces, doing children's ballet, aerobics, step aerobics, and video-clip dancing, and later moved on to study contemporary dance and theatre in a white British institution. There, she was met with the full force of white embodiment, studying somatic practices such as Skinny-Bitch-Releasing Technique, Joseph-Hubertus-Pilates, Mind vs. Body Centering, and contact improvisation as practiced by its white founders Steve Paxton and Nancy Stark Smith. In search of her true, authentic self, in 2017 Julia Friederike embarked on a journey to find her inner whiteness. Together with Elisabeth, she founded Colonastics™, a fitness workout, dodging the neo-colonial practices of the fitness world and, in contrast, developing a strictly white movement practice. As a certified Colonastics instructor, Julia Friederike believes that whiteness is a state of mind that has built its own psychic life, which can be acquired and cultivated by anyone, regardless of their heritage or skin color. Julia Friederike's workouts are a painful experience, making you sweat, scream, and wish you were dead. She inherited her militant, unforgiving, and strict teaching style from her white maternal grandfather, Horst: ”Von nix kommt nix!”
Bruno Weißmann (née Agbaba) is the newest member of the Colonastics Family, and he's already feeling comfortable in his new white skin. To align with his new identity, Schlager expert Bruno even changed his Turkish surname to sound more German. Grüß Gott, Herr Weißmann! In his early days, young Bruno enjoyed imitating the white kids in his suburban Stuttgart neighborhood. He practiced horse riding and karate and dreamed of joining the Voltigier-Team. Most of his free time was spent at the Canstatter Wasen, where he integrated well into the Bierzelt community by singing along loudly to his favorite Schlager hits such as “Er gehört zu mir” by Marianne Rosenberg. An expert in code-switching, Bruno seamlessly blends from Ballermann Partyhits 1990 to Mayday 1991, even witnessing Sven Väth, Paul Kalkbrenner, and Westbam firsthand. Bruno is currently also known as a hardcore raver at Berlin's No.1 Basement Berghain. Apart from his ethnographic research in exclusively white spaces, Bruno received further formal training at several white theatre and dance institutions such as the Copenhagen Contemporary Dance School, training in Graham, Feldenkrais, Alexander, and Release Technique. Bruno loves to share his multitude of skillsets in Colonastics' own Schlager High-Intensity Training and gathers new movement material on his biannual trip to Germany's last remaining colony in Spain, Mallorca. By joining his class, you can be sure that Bruno will take you from Berlin to Ballermann and get your Beer Body Malle-ready in no time. Eat, Sleep, Schlager, Repeat.